Being a bit older now, as spring approaches I find my thoughts lightly turning to thoughts of...golf!
There is a whole list of parallels between the two (love and golf, that is) - the cost involved, the way you start out as a novice and maybe get better at it - depending on your tolerance for embarrassment, the seemingly endless potential for heartbreak punctuated by moments of joy...but that's an analysis for another day. Today I want to focus on the half of that pair that I'll admit to being bad at - yes, golf again!
Here are 10 of the ways I know I'm a bad golfer. If you're honest (a stretch here, since most golfers, like lovers, like to embellish their accomplishments), you'll probably conclude that you're a bad golfer, too.
- My handicap is not a numeric score, it's the way I swing the club.
- I believe that mulligans, like praise for children and puppies, should be dispensed frequently.
- I get the scorecards and little pencils because I like to collect the little pencils.
- Tallying my score on any given hole may require counting the digits on both hands, and at least one foot.
- I don't know what to do with a 3-iron, but my foot wedge always gets a workout.
- Starting a round with less than a dozen balls is risky business.
- A confession: I have occasionally pocketed a range ball, knowing that I'll give it back before I reach the 18th tee.
- I never met a water hazard that I didn't like...or miss.
- "Shaping a shot" is a fantasy I entertain occasionally, like breaking 100...ok, like breaking 120.
- The one or two perfect shots that happen unexpectedly during every round are just enough to keep me coming back for more. A bad golfer is an eternal optimist.
Here's maybe the be best thing about golf: Like love, even if you're bad at it, it's still fun!